In the realm of graphic design, a new concept emerges: ________CORE.

Acidic, belonging, chaos, culture, decentralization, emotion, filling space, interaction, queer. Whatever nouns, verbs, or adjectives imaginable are a possibility and a perfect fit to accompany this multidisciplinary ethos. Each word serves as a brushstroke on the canvas of my Graphic Design Thesis, challenging societal and design norms and beckoning those who seek refuge from the confines of tradition, conformity, and the ordinary.

Born out of the lived experiences of a nonbinary POC navigating a predominantly white and cishet society, ________CORE arises as a safe haven—an endless web of communities where one can enter and bring to light their true self. It can act as the ambiguous middle stage of a rite of passage, offering a sanctuary for ideas, thoughts, WIPs, and trial and error.

________CORE is a design manifesto of decentralization and experimentation: creating spaces for new experiences, emphasizing the importance of S.T.E.A.M. (Science, Technology, Engineering, Art, Maths), and encouraging interactivity between the artists, the art, and the audience. My thesis endeavors to decentralize graphic design norms, challenging Western and Eurocentric customs with an unconventional and experimental approach to make design more inconvenient as a form of play; testing the 5 senses, making a controlled variable uncontrolled, and removing control entirely from the artist is just the beginning.

The results aspire to inspire those to challenge the routine and embrace intuition, utilizing ________CORE as a visual narrative, a science experiment, and an inquiry to disrupt and reconstruct. The objective is not just pedagogical—it reaches into the realm of self-discovery and identity, extending beyond the artist to the audience. So now I ask, how should we begin to dismantle the enigma behind what makes and who is “an artist”?

“Mountain ranges tower to the sky. Oceans plummet to impossible depths. Earth’s surface is an amazing place to behold. Yet even the deepest canyon is but a tiny scratch on the planet. To really understand Earth, you need to travel 6,400 kilometers (3,977 miles) beneath our feet.

Starting at the center, Earth is composed of four distinct layers. They are, from deepest to shallowest, the inner core, the outer core, the mantle and the crust. Except for the crust, no one has ever explored these layers in person. In fact, the deepest humans have ever drilled is just over 12 kilometers (7.6 miles). And even that took 20 years!

Still, scientists know a great deal about Earth’s inner structure. They’ve plumbed it by studying how earthquake waves travel through the planet. The speed and behavior of these waves change as they encounter layers of different densities. Scientists — including Isaac Newton, three centuries ago — have also learned about the core and mantle from calculations of Earth’s total density, gravitational pull and magnetic field.

Here’s a primer on Earth’s layers, starting with a journey to the center of the planet.”

— Beth Geiger

“This solid metal ball has a radius of 1,220 kilometers (758 miles), or about three-quarters that of the moon. It’s located some 6,400 to 5,180 kilometers (4,000 to 3,220 miles) beneath Earth’s surface. Extremely dense, it’s made mostly of iron and nickel. The inner core spins a bit faster than the rest of the planet. It’s also intensely hot: Temperatures sizzle at 5,400° Celsius (9,800° Fahrenheit). That’s almost as hot as the surface of the sun. Pressures here are immense: well over 3 million times greater than on Earth’s surface. Some research suggests there may also be an inner, inner core. It would likely consist almost entirely of iron.”

— Beth Geiger

[INFO] [01.26.24 00:18:11] Log Found.

[42°20'32.84" N -71°08'9.29" W] Start Log 01...

I’m not a designer, I don’t like graphic design.

I’m not a designer, I don’t care for remembering the names of typefaces, historic designers, famous design studios, or revolutionary design projects. I’m currently in my last semester of grad school, my design thesis semester, and coming to this conclusion is scary. Why, throughout this program, did I struggle with coming up with ideas, picking out project topics, and choosing a medium of output?

Why am I not passionate about the outcome of my projects?

My thesis is an unpredictable, chaotic, mess right now.

I’m so fearful, I can only share this with you, a stranger.

What should I do? Am I alone in this feeling?

Within my very core, I don’t like graphic design. I feel as though I am spiraling, my head is spinning faster than the rest of my body.

What is a designer? What is graphic design?

These questions circulate in my brain so fast it causes friction, burning my skull at temperatures as hot as the sun’s surface. The fact that I do not and possibly will not ever be able to fathom an answer causes fear to my core, an immense pressure weighing on my being.

I look at works from my very first dip of the toe into graphic design and all I see is any possible excuse to defy graphic design and the rules that reign over all. Like a child... throwing a tantrum.

I grew up an artist, I grew up teaching myself the meaning of life through art. Design wasn’t art to me, not sure if it still is. It all loops back to the:

What is a designer? What is graphic design?

The beauty of art is self-expression. But, was I really expressing myself in my designs?

I wonder if there is a secret inner core within me that screams “I hate graphic design” in hopes of hiding how scared I am for the future and how lost I am in the design realm, despite... perhaps not hating graphic design.

You might question why I chose to pursue graphic design if I have such a vendetta against it, but rather pursue an art form or two. Well, I’m going to relay to you the exact words that my parents said to me:

“Art doesn’t make money.”

They’re not wrong. In this economy, in this society, beauty in art and life is rare to see, rare to hear, rare to feel, rare to be.

I don’t think I’d really even enjoy art as anything other than a hobby. You can’t force an artist to produce on a regularly based schedule; self-expression comes and goes, self-love comes and goes.

So, yeah... Graphic design it is...

And without knowing a single thing about Graphic Design fundamentals and having never opened up an Adobe program, I marched forth to the Boston University graphic design certificate program. It was my first move into the field of graphic design and boy, am I glad I took that path.

It was a year for me to be objectively (and honestly, personally) bad at graphic design; it was a chance for me to break the rules of graphic design in order to learn it. Like a mother bird kicking her baby in order to learn it. Like a mother bird kicking her baby bird out of the nest to fly, that was my fall before my rise.

The certificate year projects show not only the evolution of my of my graphic design skills, but more so, the birth of it. I’m sure when the Earth was birthed, it wasn’t perfect; that’s probably why evolution exists.

By the end of my certificate year, I didn’t want to give up. I told myself,

“Maybe if I keep pushing, I’ll grow to love graphic design.”

“Maybe if I do it their way, I can see the beauty from their side.”

And so, my first year as an MFA student and my second year trying to tackle design had started.

[INFO] [01.26.24 00:20:11] Log Found.

[42°20'32.84" N -71°08'9.29" W] End Log 01.

“This part of the core is also made from iron and nickel, just in liquid form. It sits some 5,180 to 2,880 kilometers (3,220 to 1,790 miles) below the surface. Heated largely by the radioactive decay of the elements uranium and thorium, this liquid churns in huge, turbulent currents. That motion generates electrical currents. They, in turn, generate Earth’s magnetic field. For reasons somehow related to the outer core, Earth’s magnetic field reverses about every 200,000 to 300,000 years. Scientists are still working to understand how that happens.”

— Beth Geiger

[INFO] [02.03.24 00:21:59] Log Found.

[42°20'32.84" N -71°08'9.29" W] Start Log 02...

Greetings stranger,

Last you heard was about the start of my MFA program, correct?

Alright, so where was I?

Oh yes, I entered the 2-year program with a little more confidence as to what design is and how to conform to it in a way. With a lot of fundamentals learned (the hard way) in the certificate year, this was the first step to exploring the newfound knowledge and skills to refine my graphic design projects and endeavors.

However, by no means was this year full of design successes.

Just like the certificate year, there were ups and downs, rights and wrongs, and an entire learning process. What can be said are, I’ve learned:

1. to tolerate design in some form (specifically typography and bookmaking)

2. to utilize my sporadic ways of working and creating

3. to make use of my strengths and interests in the futuristic style and technological aesthetic, aka CYBERCORE.

The MFA 1st year, personally, was the year to establish my brand, my style, and personally, and my workflow before truly being able to experiment. It was also the year I really leaned into “STORKSARENTREAL.”

Now, I haven’t told the origins of “STORKSARENTREAL” to many but it feels right to commemorate it.

“STORKSARENTREAL” is an inside joke between my best friend and I.

This year I spent time grinding my life away in order to perfect design in my way, to follow the rules to an extent. Like, wherever the line between what is design and what isn’t, I am unicycling across it while doing flips.

I felt... good about my designs, my outcomes.

“It looks like real design,” I had convinced myself.

Each of these endeavors acted like the piles of coal on the train floor, being shoveled into the fire, churning huge turbulent currents that fuel my project and making. It had generated a huge magnetic field of a newly found interest in design.

At random times, I would switch things up but what stayed constant was the constant push of what design could and should be in my eyes.

I had deconstructed the meaning of design, chiseled it to its bare bones, dissecting it like an alien organism. I picked at parts I thought intrigued me, I pushed away parts that disgusted me, I gathered parts that I thought I would need for something else.

Then, with a surgery table full of spilled guts and splattered blood, I began assembling.

[INFO] [02.03.24 00:23:13] Log Found.

[42°20'32.84" N -71°08'9.29" W] End Log 02.

“At close to 3,000 kilometers (1,865 miles) thick, this is Earth’s thickest layer. It starts a mere 30 kilometers (18.6 miles) beneath the surface. Made mostly of iron, magnesium and silicon, it is dense, hot and semi-solid (think caramel candy). Like the layer below it, this one also circulates. It just does so far more slowly.

Near its upper edges, somewhere between about 100 and 200 kilometers (62 to 124 miles) underground, the mantle’s temperature reaches the melting point of rock. Indeed, it forms a layer of partially melted rock known as the asthenosphere (As-THEEN-oh-sfeer). Geologists believe this weak, hot, slippery part of the mantle is what Earth’s tectonic plates ride upon and slide across.

Diamonds are tiny pieces of the mantle we can actually touch. Most form at depths above 200 kilometers (124 miles). But rare “super-deep” diamonds may have formed as far down as 700 kilometers (435 miles) below the surface. These crystals are then brought to the surface in volcanic rock known as kimberlite.

The mantle’s outermost zone is relatively cool and rigid. It behaves more like the crust above it. Together, this uppermost part of the mantle layer and the crust are known as the lithosphere.”

— Beth Geiger

[INFO] [02.18.24 00:13:08] Log Found

[42°20'32.84" N -71°08'9.29" W] Start Log 03...

Have you ever heard of the story of Frankenstein, kind stranger?

No, not the story of Frankenstein’s monster, but of Frankenstein himself?

Well, Frankenstein is the protagonist and the titular "doctor" in the story. He becomes obsessed with the idea of creating life and, using his extensive knowledge of science, especially chemistry and alchemy, he assembles a living being from parts of deceased humans. However, once the creature comes to life, Frankenstein is horrified by its appearance and abandons it. The creature, intelligent and with emotional depth, seeks acceptance and companionship but faces constant rejection and fear from everyone it encounters.

Very sad, isn’t it?

Well, near the end of the MFA 1st year to the beginning of the MFA 2nd year, I had felt like Frankenstein (the doctor). I had gone so fast and produced so much that I had been left with only burnout and dread; a mad scientist growing madder within the confines of their madness. I think that’s the definition of insanity.

I took it slow, transitioning into my second year in the MFA program. I knew that if I wanted to create a fantastical creature out of old parts of myself, I needed to be skillful, logical, intuitive, and punctual. Just as how I was spinning at lightning speed in a circular motion, I slowed it down, pushing back the burnout as much as possible. I spun on my own timer, my own speed.

I needed to spin at the perfect trajectory and speed that could create a sturdy foundation for my thesis, my brand, my design future.

So, this meant an end to an era...

The death of “STORKSARENTREAL.”

Here lies “STORKSARENTREAL,”

A brand, an artist, a friend.

11.05.19 — 02.18.24

Don’t look at me like that... It had to happen.

Why? I’m still not sure myself…

“STORKSARENTREAL” did feel like my brand, but did it feel like my design brand? Was I going to create invoices and email footers under the design name “STORKSARENTREAL”? Did that feel right to me?

I think that thought was in the back of my mind for a very long time, I was just afraid to say it and even more afraid to answer it.

What helped me was getting a freelance job with a nonprofit organization and having to design an invoice for the charges. It was a pretty serious job, one that supports the uplifting of small Asian businesses within Boston.

“STORKSARENTREAL”, no matter how serious I tried to make it and tried to convince everyone else it was, it did not feel right at that moment.

However, this does not mean that “STORKSARENTREAL” is no more. It just means the end of me trying to force “STORKSARENTREAL” to be a serious brand and character when clearly it is silly, goofy, and whimsical.

“STORKSARENTREAL” represented my artistic side, it even started out as an Instagram account where I post solely drawings, paintings, and other forms of doodles. I never would abandon my love for art and rewrite my history with “STORKSARENTREAL”.

Within my 3 years at Boston University’s Graphic Design program, “STORKSARENTREAL” taught me not to conform to the masses, to be regular, to strive for the bare minimum. “STORKSARENTREAL” gave me the confidence I needed to push on, to reimagine the core principles of being a true designer, in my eyes and in my heart.

“STORKSARENTREAL” will continue to exist as a separate being, a wild side. Everything was great!

Except... this left a hole in my brand, my identity. The sturdy foundation that melted into place previously, is now just a weak, boiling, slippery slope.

[INFO] [02.18.24 00:5:34] Log Found.

[42°20'32.84" N -71°08'9.29" W] End Log 03.

“Earth’s crust is like the shell of a hard-boiled egg. It is extremely thin, cold and brittle compared to what lies below it. The crust is made of relatively light elements, especially silica, aluminum and oxygen. It’s also highly variable in its thickness. Under the oceans (and Hawaiian Islands), it may be as little as 5 kilometers (3.1 miles) thick. Beneath the continents, the crust may be 30 to 70 kilometers (18.6 to 43.5 miles) thick.

Along with the upper zone of the mantle, the crust is broken into big pieces, like a gigantic jigsaw puzzle. These are known as tectonic plates. These move slowly — at just 3 to 5 centimeters (1.2 to 2 inches) per year. What drives the motion of tectonic plates is still not fully understood. It may be related to heat-driven convection currents in the mantle below. Some scientists think it’s caused by the tug from slabs of crust of different densities, something called “slab pull.” In time, these plates will converge, pull apart or slide past each other. Those actions cause most earthquakes and volcanoes. It’s a slow ride, but it makes for exciting times here on Earth’s surface.”

— Beth Geiger

[INFO] [02.23.24 00:15:11] Log Found.

[42°20'32.84" N -71°08'9.29" W] Start Log 04...

Hi... stranger...

The amount of times you’ve seen and/or heard of me spiraling is countless, isn’t it?

I don’t mean to alarm you, or trouble you, or worry you.

It is just a journey I have to take on my own. It’s scary, but who else to deal with it than me...

But for the past few days, I’ve been trying to figure out how to make everything connect. Each idea cracks like the brittle shell of an egg and crumbles like a Nature Valley bar at the bottom of your backpack.

The clashing of these ideas and the want to make everything connect collide together like crashing waves. I see no land.

Things are becoming more unpredictable, chaotic.

As I’m entering into the final semester of this program, I am left with nothing but debris.

You see, initially, my thesis topic was about “CORES” like the aesthetic trend popular amongst GEN Z on the internet. I had presented an entire inquiry speech about the topic and it seemed to have great potential.

But for some reason that I had not known, I was not satisfied with it.

It was presented in a delightful way (I’m proud of that) and the narrative is there, but...

It was too structured, too rigid, and too planned out. There was no flow, no rhythm. It felt like I was salsa dancing with a vacuum.

I considered this part of my thesis journey my mid-life crisis era. In the way that men stereotypically spend their last pennies on fast cars, going out with younger women, and risk-taking too far. Except the fast car is an entirely new thesis topic, the younger women are the friends I forced to help generate content, and the risk-taking was doing all of this with just a few months left in the semester.

“CHAOS THEORY” came about while I was researching articles for a project. “CHAOS THEORY”, in mechanics and mathematics, is the study of apparently random or unpredictable behavior in systems governed by deterministic laws. It suggests that the world is unpredictable because it is so complicated.

In recent decades, multiple systems have been studied that behave unpredictably despite being so simplistic. The commonality is a very high sensitive degree to initial conditions and the way they are set in motion.

Examples you may know are the ripple effect, butterfly theory, fractal theory, and so on.

These concepts were very interesting to me and related to not only my project styles but my methodology as well, or so I thought.

Before I knew it, my thesis adapted to this definition of the “CHAOS THEORY” in that initial conditions would alter what each stage of my thesis would look like including projects. I believed that unpredictability could stem from interactive or experience design and could lead to play, curiosity, and science within art. And I still do.

However, I realized I was tunneling as I shared this idea with those around me. It was a great idea in the present, but did it represent me and my work of the past? What about future me and my future works? Chaos theory, as a methodology, became limiting in a way. Not every work of mine will be unpredictable, and not every work of mine was always chaotic.

If this was a film, there would be more plot holes than Back to the Future.

I had this constant colliding battle between whether I should return to “CORE” or push forth with “CHAOS THEORY”, enough to cause earthquakes and volcanic eruptions.

I don’t want to throw away the “CHAOS THEORY” idea completely, as I have already conducted a workshop surrounding the concept. So, I’m deciding to reduce the mass of the “CHAOS THEORY” from an entire methodology to a project within my methodology.

This leaves me with “CORE”, the OG.

What to do with you...

It’s like a puzzle piece that doesn’t quite fit just yet. I just have to hold it to the sun and look at it from different angles and perspectives.

[INFO] [02.23.24 00:19:36] Log Found.

[42°20'32.84" N -71°08'9.29" W] End Log 04.

“Mountain ranges tower to the sky. Oceans plummet to impossible depths. Earth’s surface is an amazing place to behold.”

— Beth Geiger

[INFO] [02.24.24 00:14:42] Log Found.

[42°20'32.84" N -71°08'9.29" W] Start Log 05…

Dear friend, you’re back!

I’ve been staring at the sun.

Not directly, but at the thing I’m holding in front of it.

The puzzle piece, remember?

It casts a shadow over my face, the sunrays peaking through.

Has the Earth ever been this warm?

Well, I handed the piece to my friend next to me. They turned it 90° and passed it to our friend to the right. They flipped it horizontally and handed it down the line. Each stop was a suggestion and interaction of what “CORE” could be.

The puzzle piece reached back to me, almost unrecognizable, almost.

But, it was refreshing to ask for opinions and receive perspectives I would’ve never thought of.

Wow, has the Earth ever been this exciting?

I looked at the puzzle piece that once did not fit into the empty slot up to the sun and then to every person around me; the puzzle piece carried something from each person who had touched it.

A wave of realization washed over me, like a calm tide that rolls over the soft sand, providing life for those seeking it beneath.

Just as complex things happen within the layers of the Earth that even scientists find them great mysteries that have yet to be solved, my inner workings will always be considered in the process but where I thrive is outside those layers, above the crust, on the very surface of the Earth, surrounded by those that I love.

A house full of motion, conversations, laughter; a place where anyone is welcomed with warm arms and hot tea. This was my “CORE”, my thesis project.

Just as organisms had evolved on the surface of the Earth, both the idea and the name of “CORE” had grown into something more.

That was the birth of “________CORE”.

It ran and hopped from so many points to points that even Mario was jealous.

What’s the blank for, you may ask?

That’s for you to decide. I just provide the “CORE”, the community, the safe space, the home.

Acidic, belonging, chaos, culture, decentralization, emotion, filling space, interaction, queer. Whatever words imaginable are a possibility and a perfect fit to fill in the blank space.

________CORE acts as a safe haven—an endless web of communities where anyone can enter and bring to light their true self.

My project, _“inner”_ CORE, was created to encourage self-expression and reaches into the realm of self-discovery and identity, extending beyond the artist to the audience, you.

It asks how we should begin to dismantle the enigma behind what makes and who is “an artist” and “a designer.”

If you could have your very own “CORE,” what would it be? Would it surround your name? Your favorite word? An aesthetic? A concept?

No matter an adjective, noun, or verb, what is your ________CORE?

There’s not much else to say, my friend. I think this might be my last log.

Don’t worry, I’ll stay connected. And if you need anything, you can always find me in ________CORE.

Goodbye, my dear friend!

[INFO] [02.24.24 00:18:19] Log Found.

[42°20'32.84" N -71°08'9.29" W] End Log 05…

Casual conversations with creators I find great inspiration in!

<コ:彡 Quinn O’Connell: An avid maker and fan of the little things.

<コ:彡 Tara Lynch: Melter, sculptor, and a lifelong student of glass.

<コ:彡 Qadira Locke: Palestinian-Lumbee artist and advocate.

I’ve realized throughout my exploration into graphic design, it doesn’t have to all be that serious, in the same way life shouldn’t be. Once design stops being playful is when I am no longer interested, because there is no soul being shown and no love being expressed.

Explore the WHIMSICALLERY!☆彡

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Chen Design Associates. Fingerprint: The Art of Using Handmade Elements in Graphic Design, Ohio, HOW Books, 2006.

Cure, Sophie, et al. Graphic Design Play Book, Great Britain, Laurence King Student & Professional, 2019.

De Bondt, Sarah. Off The Grid, Occasional Papers, Feb 2022.

Gaalen, Anneloes Van. Never Use White Type on a Black Background And 50 Other Ridiculous Design Rules, Amsterdam, BIS Publishers, Dec 2009.

Garfield, Simon. Just My Type, New York, Penguin Group, Sep 2012.

Geiger, Beth. Explainer: Earth — layer by layer, snexplore, https://www.snexplores.org/article/explainer-earth-layer-layer, 2019.

Heller, Steven, et al. Genius Moves, Ohio, North Light Books, 2001.

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Leung, Katherine. Canto Cutie, 2020.

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Ravisetti, Monisha. What Is the Butterfly Effect? How Scientists Find Beauty in Mathematical Chaos, CNET, https://www.cnet.com/science/biology/features/what-is-the-butterfly-effect-how-scientists-find-beauty-in-mathematical-chaos/, 2023.

Rivers, Charlotte. Maximalism: The Graphic Design of Decadence & Excess, Switzerland, Rotovision, 2004

Seu, Mindy. Cyberfeminism Index, California, Inventory Press, 2022.

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Walton, Roger. The Big Book of Graphic Design, New York, Collins Design, 2007.